So much struggling –

realising that I need a balance

between reaching out and reaching in.

I need to do some things just for me,

like paint and play,

and read and build sandcastles.

I need to stop

for a long time,

to think about that.

Where did I miss it? Lose it?

For joy is the centre of ministry,

Joy should precede ministry,

nurture it and fulfil it.

But I am so intense about ministry,

and take it so solemnly

(as if I were responsible for it)

that I become weighed down

by its ups and downs,

its disappointments and failures.

I suffocate joy with


I imagine everything depends on me –

when everything is God’s business,

and God has already taken care of

all her creation

and all her people,

We are only to walk with each other,

be with each other,

love each other.

God’s is the healing,

the growing

and the fulfilling.

When I lose perspective

and imagine everything,

(or most things)

revolving round myself,

I make myself

a little god,

and lose my joy.

For I was never made

to be a little god – only

to be loved by the Great God.



Perhaps I am too busy trying

to love other people instead of

learning to love myself.

When I can do that

I might begin to understand

how great God’s

love is.

When I go through

darkness, heaviness and anxiety,

it is God’s invitation for me to stop

looking outwards and start looking

inwards and be loving and gentle

with myself.

I am called to minister for my own joy.

When my joy diminishes, so does my ministry.

When I have fun and enjoy myself God does!

Then I am most like God – – who is joy!

Edwina Gately

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Generic doxazosin from Little Rock Buy renova from Hartford Cipro 25 0mg dosage Geodon muscle tension Where to buy sustiva in Illinois online Zofran dosage for kids Where to buy furosemide online in Boise City How to buy generic pentasa 400mg Geodon patient assistance program Vesicare vs trospium